KITTEN UPDATE: We're SO Close.

It's the final stages. The way I figure it, I'm 4 over-feedings away from having these puffy creeps out of my life forever. Though Mr. Pearl is starting to grow on me. Just in case they're gone tomorrow, I thought I'd go ahead and write what may be the final update in this journey that has been Kitten, Bat, & Penis Development 101.
1. Mr. Pearl:

I. Mean. Just look at him. The fact that he sprouted a penis and that his name sounds eerily similar to Mr. Paul- one of my favorite humans- is making me feel.....attached? Maybe I shouldn't go that far. The second he assaults one of my Care Bears it's OVER. But he's very dear. There's always one kitten per batch that makes me start to wonder...."Does it need me? Will it be sad without me?" It won't. Mr. Pearl probably can't tell me apart from shower curtain, eyes being crossed as they are, and will be equally daffy and content anywhere in the world. But. If Mr. Pearl begins demonstrating problematic behavior, I'm happy to take over.
2. Mr. Marianne:

Still a bat. Potentially Satan. Is somehow the heaviest kitten. Which is surprising given the fact that he's balding from the eyebrows up. Secretly the softest. Occasionally hears voices. I watched him stand on a chair yesterday for three minutes having panicked reactions to absolutely nothing.
3. Dust:

Photogenic. Indifferent. Immobile. OVER EVERYTHING. An older woman, I think. Does very dramatic sleeping- see below:

That box was my Care Bear coffin. Which is a whole other story, but suffice to say, IT IS NO LONGER MINE FOR ANY USE. Dust loves sleeping in this box. In the first photo, she's pretending to be dead for dramatic effect, and in the bottom one, she's FAST ASLEEP and so determined to be in that box that her eyelid has been pinned open for 10 minutes and she doesn't care. So we'll have to have that eyeball removed.
4. Roland:

POSES for me. Hits it; holds it. He is photographed here upon his favorite rug with a 2 lb. weight I found in my room which I've been using to weigh the kittens. Sleeps most of the time. Is very excited to meet his new mother, Maggie McGrann.
So that's that. Perhaps. If they keep spinning around here like blenders on roids it may take longer than I'm expecting for them to get up to 2 pounds. In that case, another photo shoot may occur. If not, obituaries will be posted on this blog and in lieu of flowers, please send power washers.