As Far As I Got About Halloween 2015

"SERENITY, NOW!" Robert shouted across the lawn. He then turned and, wiping a fake cobweb dangling from the tree above away from his face, mounted the porch stairs. Clad very handsomely in a white satin suit and white wig tucked pertly into a hairnet with a lone curving wisp escaping to frame his angular handsome face, he picked a cupcake off the silver tray and explained that the young lady who had just attempted to trick or treat at his doorstep had, upon taking him in, retreated in fear across the lawn, prompting her mother to shout her name and command her to return. It just happened that her name was Serenity and Robert is a genius.
I was sitting immobile in a chair on the corner of the porch. Immobile because all of my bed pillows and a couple of couch cushions were stuffed up my shirt and halfway down my pants. All strapped in securely with a pair of Mr. Paul's suspenders. I looked great. But I was rendered pretty much motionless and therefore unable to turn and observe all the fascinating activity taking place on the lawn. I love going to Robert's for Halloween. Some of the very best people are there. And all of the very best food. I think I offended some people by not knowing some intimate details about The Barefoot Contessa, but I now know that I would like to get very intimate with her onion dip.
So Halloween was a lot of fun this year. I got to hang out in the costume shop, which is always fun, and sew a hand towel into a tube. I got to Uber a few times. I got to see a very very tiny shrimp in a fish tank. I got to eat a big gooey brownie crowned with a candy corn pumpkin, watch Yukon Cornelius perform lip sync to Whitney Houston, fondly reminisce over that time I got chained up in a basement, and top the evening off crouched behind a display case with Matt Polson dressed as Rose from the Golden Girls going as a Mad Scientist and taking a shot out of syringe.
But then I went to see "OKLAHOMA!"
Now, I haven't laughed til I cried maybe ever. And I love "OKLAHOMA!" Have since I was a child. Made my brother watch it with me daily for maybe 3 years in a row. He's a VERY good brother. But I like to think I made it up to him by playing Super NES every waking hour after school for the other 7 years of the 90s.
***Plunger Hockey. Ask me about it sometime.***
Anyway,